KEEPER OF THE SHEPHERD
KEEPER OF THE SHEPHERD
BRONWYN
the brilliance of the day waits for you to wake again,
patient in the way i waited for you to love me again
bronwyn, i lost the song gone when i sang
bronwyn, i lost the way home where i knew
the ground smokes as it burns to hell
release me from this sweltered land i stand
holding to the shepherd’s hand the man praised and punished me too
bronwyn, i lost the song gone when i sang
bronwyn, i lost the way home where i knew how to love you and be loved too it was an honor to have loved you, an honor to have been buried in the ruin and held til the end to have woken inside you, in the hollow hand aching and frought in the face of god i do not flinch at the blinding sight of light i press to the chest for a breath of life i kneel down and pray bronwyn, i heard the song in the vanishing day bronwyn, i laid you down at the mouth of the cave for no one is mine to hold and no one holds still and no one is left behind and no one remains but loss as the centerfold as the heart swells to loosen the ribs loosen the ribs loosen the ribs loosen the ribs
KEEPER OF THE SHEPHERD
look back to see how dark it gets pulled to the knees how hard it let me keep the shape of shame, keep naming every sin to keep loving what cannot love me back i cannot love you without me i cannot live without me i cannot be kept without me i cannot be without me i hold to my father's heart dying in my arms i died too, i died too i lost you, i lost me within you i cannot live without me i cannot be kept without me i cannot love you without me i cannot be without me i keep close to my spirit i keep learning to hear it without him, without you, within me without it, with no one i keep me i cannot be kept without me i cannot be here without me i cannot love you without me i cannot be without me to be the keeper to be the shepherd i am the keeper of the shepherd
WOOLGATHERING
wake in the wound remembering where the endings fragment memory it takes absence to feel presence it takes time to become what you are breathing in water hearing the river whispering blind prayer, finding what was left behind woolgathering, unbinding what was never mine meet me where the heart beats where the shadows shade the heat love me wounded hold me where my edges soften give me time to free my lungs the ribs are loosening the life breathes in the life breathes in blind prayer, finding what was left behind woolgathering, unbinding what was never mine blind prayer, finding what was left behind woolgathering, unbinding what was never mine never mine
FLOODPLAIN
the birch tree bark stripped bare, the bones and the bodies decay there naked as the moss grows over in time as the loss goes through the dam to loosen you in my heart through the vein the pain draws beneath the floodplain the riverbed is filled with husks of lead the dusk is turning to give and return, the measure of our love was yearning for more than we could carry more than we have buried in the floodplain i sang to you every day, i waited every night for you to come in the music of our memory each sound resounds too loudly to hear as the grief swells silent in time as the song resolves dissonant i know too much to love that way again know too well to lose my way again know too well to give away again know too well to know when it's not real love i want to be wanted don't want to be forgotten but want to forget i want to be shaped by the love i have not haunted by the lack i want to be released from the growing pain in the floodplain the floodplain how long have i kept you how long have i kept the light on how long have i been gone
HUSK
death sings river rising stone hollowed death is a husk drying out a field in heat sunblind i am opening trillium hums i am growing understories death sings leaves lilting the light death is a thread measuring time burning a candle guiding a life to be alive i am decaying within me without me i am an elegy memory echoing death is a husk holding the shape of my life
VACANT INTIMACIES
god i mourn my body mourn the worn woman in me child seeking a shelter child keeping the open wound i want the one who's gone i want the one who's gone i want the one who's gone i want the one who's gone i remember every empty hand every echoing cave that never gave back i remember every hollow home grasping to the absence haunted by the lack grasping to the absence haunted by the vacant intimacies vacant intimacies vacant intimacies vacant intimacies to fear feeling the fracture, healing the compounded loss to fear leaving the rapture, hearing the silence song i want the one who's gone, i want the one who's gone i want the one who's gone, i want the one who's gone i remember every empty hand, every echoing cave that never gave back i remember every hollow home grasping to the absence, haunted by the lack grasping to the absence, haunted by the vacant intimacies
HAUNTED LANDSCAPE, ECHOING CAVE